wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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