butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
