he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize