In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
