When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
