my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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