Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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