I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
