a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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