Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
