Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
