He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
