1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
