How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
