Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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