Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
