hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
