whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
