Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
cat food counts as protein by the way
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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