In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
