Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
