Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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