So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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