If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize