Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize