I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
