I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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