marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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