I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
