If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
