I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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