was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
