im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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