Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
