Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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