You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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