At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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