therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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