Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
