i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
