What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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