I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
