Can Purell be used as lube?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
