A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
