Will you blow on my dice?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
