All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
