clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
do herpes really smell.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize