with your own penis?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
