kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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