So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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