his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
