you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
