turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Im part way to drunk.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
