Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
