WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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