It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
