I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
