i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
