Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
