Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize