I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
