you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
