some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
