It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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