Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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