We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
