I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
