This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Help. Why am I so naked?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
