love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
