We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
