Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize