I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
