I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is Oprah even human
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
